'I can't support both of us': Entitled nephew threatens to kick aunt out of her own apartment

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 9, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Living with family is… living with family. A lot of us did it for 18 years and never looked back. I looked back a little when I was first starting out and needed a little extra support, but living with family sometimes comes at a price. If you're the one mooching, then the emotional weight of mooching can start to feel taxing. If you're the one being mooched off of, then dang it, you're being mooched off of! Sometimes it's a lose-lose situation. 

Sure, in the best of circumstances, generosity goes both ways and everyone loves each other and bakes a big cake made of rainbows and smiles. But family is complicated, so things can easily go wrong. Like in this recent Reddit story from an aunt whose generosity was being taken advantage of. So, commenters did what they do best and swooped in to set everyone straight. Get in on the details. 

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  • 01
    020 r/AmltheAsshole u/not-active-4long. 21h AITA for kicking out my nephew since he thought it was only his house?
    via u/not-active-4long
  • 02
    OK, so I'm female(25) and my nephew is (20). This all happened a few weeks ago, but heres some backstory. Me and my nephew grew up together, and I took care of him for most of my childhood and teen years. Even though we're five years apart, I still had to take care of him and I really never minded.
    via u/not-active-4long
  • 03
    He's family, and I care for him a lot, but growing up he would steal my stuff and not give it back or give it back ruined or damaged. Instead of getting in trouble, it was always me getting in trouble since I was the oldest. Since he had a rough childhood, I had to let him do whatever he wanted. I honestly did not like that because I raised him the best I could being teenager and I didn't have a choice. I had to clean, I had to cook for him, and it made me upset, but that's in the past.
    via u/not-active-4long
  • 04
    Currently I have an apartment and I needed help paying rent and my nephew offered to live with me and pay some rent. His college is a 10 minute drive away from there, and where we used to live it's like a 40 minute drive, so he moved in with me. At first he was paying it, and then slowly he stopped paying it. Obviously I let him know that he does have to pay rent and that if he could pay me soon and he never did. He just said that since I am his aunt and I'm older, I have to pay for everything f
    via u/not-active-4long
  • 05
    I've told his mom about it and my mom and all they told me was that I should support him and give him money since I'm his aunt. I have money but I can barely afford rent and they want me to give him money, just so he can go spend it? like no. I told him that he has to get a job or he can't live with me. Then he threatened to kick me out of my own apartment, so I snapped and I kicked him out. I threw his clothes out and I told him to not come back.
    via u/not-active-4long
  • 06
    Most of my family doesn't want to talk with me right now. They're mad at me, and my cousins are the only ones talking to me. The rest of the family is not. AITA? edit: English is not my first language so sorry for any errors!
    via u/not-active-4long
  • 07
    SafiiriNoir 20h Partassipant [1] ΝΤΑ You are his aunt, not his parent nor his guardian. You are a young adult learning to navigate life yourself, and this is not your burden to bear. Your family is literally teaching your nephew to mooch off others and be entitled. I know you said you did your best when they parentified you, but you shouldn't have been put in that position to start with. If he is unable to support himself, he should move back in with his parents. If that isn't an option, he can
    via u/SafiiriNoir
  • 08
    Under no circumstances do I think you should let him back in. He has already proven that he won't respect you and that all he wants is a free ride. The absolute audacity of thinking he can kick you out of your own apartment just blows my mind. It's hard and it I but going LC or even NC in this instance would likely be a blessing for you. Focus on you, not them. Also, when they throw the "But FAMILY..." card at you, remember that family is more than blood, and can be chosen as well. Biologically,
    via u/SafiiriNoir
  • 09
    SushiGuacDNA • 21h Professor Emeritass [91] NTA. Your nephew's behavior deserves - demands! — consequences. He is breaking way too many rules for you to be an for kicking him out. (1) He's not paying the rent he agreed to. (2) He's doing thing she's not supposed to. (3) He's stealing money from your room?!!! (4) He threatened to kick you out of your own appartment?!!! Honestly, he not only deserves to be kicked out, but in fact, it would be a bad lesson for his future if you didn't.
    via u/SushiGuacDNA
  • 10
    Turtley_awsome . 21h NTA. He's a 20 year old man. Time to get his together. You need to stop enabling him. I understand he had a tough childhood but that is not your fault and was not your responsibility. To the family members that are calling you an AH I would tell them that they should help him and give him money and allow the stealing and disrespect. They are the worst! They can't ask of you what they are not willing to do. I know it will be difficult but this is where you stand firm. You do
    via u/Turtley_awsome
  • 11
    KingsRansom79 • 21h Enthusiast [6] NTA. Your mom and aunt don't want to deal with him either. So they're trying to guilt you into taking responsibility for him and supporting him financially. Don't give in!
    via u/KingsRansom79
  • 12
    YouthNAsia63 · 20h ● Prime Ministurd [473] Of course your family is mad at you! Now one of them is going to have to house, feed, and give spending money to this twenty year old thieving mooch. But you don't have to take him back. And it sounds like he has no idea that he might have tenant rights, so you might have lucked out there. He could have made life even more difficult for you after you have him a 30 day eviction, (or whatever your local laws require). You are free now. Enjoy it, don't be
    via u/YouthNAsia63
  • 13
    banchod85. 21h NTA. Change the locks of your apartment ASAP. Such an entitled brat may try to sneak in again.
    via u/banchod85
  • 14
    latents 20h Colo-rectal Surgeon [40] he threatened to kick me out of my own apartment And then magic fairies would pay the rent and utilities and bring groceries and clean up after him? I'd like to think that nobody is really that stupid and this is fake? Tell me people aren't this incompetent?
    via u/latents
  • 15
    Fwoggie2 21h Partassipant [4] ● NTA. If the family has that much of a beef about it they'd be better off stepping in and doing something about it themselves rather than berating you for being unwilling to put up with it any more.
    via u/Fwoggie2
  • 16
    LanaraLore • 20h NTA. He's not your kid. His mom should be paying for him. His mom should have raised him. He's not your responsibility he's hers and she needs to deal with the entitled thief she's created. It sounds like a terrible case of little prince syndrome where no one has every disciplined him.
    via u/LanaraLore
  • 17
    Adventurous-travel1 20h NTA - funny his parents don't want to support him but expect you to. Good life lesson to allow him to learn the hard way.
    via u/Adventurous-travel1

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aunt family family ties drama living together nephews mooching parent parenting Reddit reddit story family drama aita am i the asshole subreddit reddit thread cohabitating
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